"I spent over a decade in and out of treatment facilities and hospitals trying to follow directions to be rid of my own trauma, history of abuse, struggle with anorexia and anixety//panic disorders. Nothing was working, my relationships continued to disappear and my heart kept failing. In mind, body and spirit. In a last attempt and another bottom - I agreed to try a few yoga postures and started learning about energy. Everything changed. I had been told the type of healing I started experiencing was impossible - yoga and energy practices saved my life.
Yoga helped me not just control my thoughts but I was able to understand them. I started to not just identify but FEEL the connection between my thoughts and my body. It changed my life when I could understand it was the energy piece that allowed me to embody confidence and power. Through my practice and lifestyle changes, I learned how to not just rid myself of shame and anxiety - but FEEL the absence. I could identify what was gone. No longer present symptoms meant I and others could stop labeling me. I was able to connect to feelings of control and clarity in my mental health. I had given up believing this was possible.
I’ve been able to experience years of un medicated balance. The practitioners who have supported my healing empowered me to become self healing and not be victimized by dis-ease. Through these practices I learned to choose my focus, understand and identify what feelings are and aren’t mine, regulate my own moods. I’m soberly happy and I know that sounds so simple but it wasn’t so simple. A decade plus of confusion, relapse, shame and a loss of control was replaced with clarity, power, forgiveness and trust in my body. I now embody connecting with my intuition, motivation, health and have consistent positive experiences with life in general.
Yoga helped me see myself differently and that changed how I viewed everything. Formerly traumatic memories, became stories I was a part of but not defined by. As I opened up to different parts of the practice and healing, I found the power in the energy of spirituality. I could be open to life in a way I never had words for until I started studying yoga. I finally had not just the words but the support in being an energetic and alive woman.
Recovery, change, healing - these are personal journeys. The timeline isn’t the same for everyone, but the lessons always arrive at the same result. It is one day at a time, on your time. I show up where my student is. They declare intent and we get to work. We connect to the energy of what we are working with and that by itself is such a powerful connection. I forgot how to feel connected to sharing a smile with another human at a certain point so I recognize and reinforce those vibrations. In the right pose? Wake up a new feeling in places previously avoided? Game over. Honestly, a new experience in not just recovery but in healing. I am so honored to share this practice - it truly recovered a life I had forgotten how to feel.”